CAUTION: SPOILERS for this episode of BCNG!

“Your marshmallows have become one with the universe.” – Duff, judging Abby and Cameron’s s’mores empanadas

Week three: vacation desserts. The teams were assigned to bake desserts inspired by things they’ve eaten while traveling.

This got me thinking. What would you make for this challenge?

Like last week, I’m at a loss. I’ve traveled a fair bit (nowhere near as much as Harper and Holland though, damn! 15+ countries before they’re even twelve years old?! As I said to my husband: oh, they’re rich rich) – but as you know, I don’t really eat a lot of sweets usually. So, I don’t really have any “vacation dessert” associations in my memory banks.

There was in fact only one trip that I took that happened to coincide with a rare, more permissive, sweet-eating phase of my life: a trip to Germany in ‘09. I was a complete fatass on that trip, and I’m actually not just making fun of myself this time; I was literally quite fat, at my highest weight ever. This was during what I now refer to as my “revenge fat” phase, which occurred in between two restrictive periods, like a very drastic pendulum swing, and was just a really horrible and depressing time in general, and is making me depressed to even think about. So, to get to the point, I consumed a lot of things in Germany… so many things.

Nutella, for one. In ‘09, Nutella was still a rather uncommon thing in my part of the US, not yet mainstream; so seeing it everywhere in Germany was very exciting, and my fat ass inhaled a lot of it. It was in vending machines! It was on my host family’s breakfast table every morning! It was wherever I went! It was like my only friend, on that horrible Godforsaken trip! So, yeah, maybe I’d make something Nutella-themed. Some kind of Nutella-filled pie or tart. What about you?

Anyway, back to the kids. Out of nine teams, three did Florida-inspired desserts. That tracks, considering the age range of these contestants; they’re in their peak Disney era. Then we had two France, one London, one Hawaii, one Arizona, and one Washington, D.C.

The D.C. one came from Abigail and Kenneth. They were my favorite this episode (shh, don’t tell Food Network, I don’t want them getting sent home next week), not only because D.C. is the only one of these locations that I’ve actually been to, but also because I really sympathized when they said “we don’t travel much,” because they stay too busy on the farm. Humble, simple folk! Country mice in the big city! Love it. I kind of hope they win the whole thing now.

Although, good luck beating Leia and Kiera. Everyone named them as their #1 fiercest competitor, and it’s plain to see why. Those passionfruit eclairs looked phenomenal! Those girls know what they’re doing, that’s for sure.

Time to complain now! Maybe I’m being cynical here, but when Harper and Holland went up for judging, and little Holland kept talking about the “Unique” Jack – I kind of suspected that her sister and/or her parents or someone had told her to say it that way, because it would look so cute. Is it just me? Was that acting? These girls just seem too precious to be real, lol I almost get the impression that they’re acting. Well, whether it’s an act or not, they’re doing a fabulous job; they’re obviously very much in their element in front of the TV cameras.

A bummer of an outcome this week. Both of my husband’s favorite teams were in the bottom two. I was surprised that Jovie and Lenore got such negative feedback; that galette des rois looked like it had turned out beautifully, didn’t it? I kinda feel like the judging was maybe a little too harsh on them because the judges expected more from last week’s winners?

And then, poor little Taanvi and Kavya going home. It was fair enough – their chai-spiced macarons did basically disintegrate, unfortunately – and they handled it very gracefully, without any tears. I will miss them and their goofiness.

Enough complaining, time for stats:

Superlatives from the judges: 0 (running total: 2)

Kid who most deserved a hug: Abigail: when Abby (of Abby and Cameron)’s caramel burned, and Abigail came up and was trying to be encouraging and friendly like “that happened on my mom’s brand-new stove one time!” and Abby was just like “… oh… great.” LOL I’m sure Abby was probably just really flustered in that moment, and probably trying to think of what to do next, but I felt bad for poor Abigail, getting brushed off like that.

Kid who most deserved a high five: Genesis, just because I loved her positivity. The judges were disappointed that the jalapeño didn’t come through in their cupcake, but Genesis just seemed really steady and glowing and focused on the compliments they got on their mango sponge. Also, really bold choices: not only baking with jalapeño for the first time ever on a TV show, but also using that bright blue frosting! I just love her confidence, and she clearly knows cake.

The dessert that I would most have liked to eat: It was going to be Abigail and Kenneth’s cherry tart, but the judges said that it was kind of lackluster and needed another element; so, guess I’ll have to go with Leia and Kiera’s passionfruit eclairs with coconut ganache. Normally I’m not big on tropical flavors, but these just looked and sounded really special, with that flaked coconut on top. I’ll be very surprised if they don’t win the 25k. On to next week. What did you think? Leave me your comments!